Friday, July 23, 2010

Frozen

Firstly, the lateness of this blog post isn't really applicable to the topic I'm about to talk about, since the reason for it is the arrival of cousins. That said, this can work into the blog world as well...but as you have no idea what I'm talking about at all yet, I'll shut up and actually begin.

I've realized something about myself. Sort of recently, though I've sort of known it for awhile, too. When there is a lot of stuff to do, and I know that I don't really have much a chance about getting it all done, I don't tend to just tackle it and see how much I can get done--I freeze. Sometimes I spend time on the internet, trying to forget all the stuff I have to do. More often, at least these days, I just sit. Or read something I'm not really interested in reading. Anything to avoid thinking about all the stuff I need to do and can't possibly get done.

As you can imagine, this puts me further behind then ever, and makes me want to "freeze" even more.

It gets even worse when I feel that the thing that I want to do--that I've told people I'd do, even--isn't really worth the time. Because I have too much other stuff to do. Writing and critiquing both fall under these labels (I believe blogging will as well, once I reach the school year--even in some cases, right now). I feel almost guilty when I do them because I should be doing other things...so I freeze and don't do anything at all. Because I want to write but feel guilty. And I need to do Biology but I don't want to and I'm scared of the fact that I've only got half the textbook done and it's almost August.

You'd think it'd be easier to break out of this cycle, because it's rather silly. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO does not equal DON'T DO ANYTHING. Sure, I might never be able to "catch up" (who does?) but I'd get way more done and be a lot more satisfied at the end of my day, I'm certain.

So. This is something of a more TheoEc (my other blog) post, but we'll go with putting it here, because this tendency has really hurt my writing, especially editing Forest of Lies--because of the sheer amount of work I need to do. I'm going to start a goal.

Officially, I'll begin on Tuesday, because of cousins in town and a college visit. I'm going to try and just get 30 minutes of editing and 30 minutes of critiquing done a day. I won't force myself to do more, but I imagine I will end up doing more. I'll chronicle how that goes in here. Perhaps I'll make a similar goal for my other blog.

See, now who can say writing this post was a waste of time? Perhaps not much fun to read for my readers, but now I've got something to shoot for and perhaps a few people who'll pester me because I put this on the internet.

No freezing allowed.

~Nai

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

An admirable goal, Nai. I'm rootin' for ya. :)

~Aerynn

Angela said...

Good job! You can do it! :D I know how that feels, too. My mom calls that spinning. When you have so much going on, and it's so overwhelming that you just can't really do anything, and even if you try it doesn't feel like you've done anything. And the world just seems like it's spinning. :)
So good luck. I have faith in you. :D

~Angela/Chanterelle

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