Saturday, November 27, 2010

Torn in Two

Yes, for the people who love Lord of the Rings, that is a Lord of the Rings reference.

I've been mulling over, or complaining about, what I'm supposed to be writing for a long time. My blog readers have become aware of my dilemma and the strong emotions that are attached to it. I stopped NaNoWriMo because I didn't think it was helping me make Etched in Black the way it should be, though the truth is it still hasn't changed that much since I stopped. Lately, I've been thinking about Forest of Lies more than ever. I miss my characters. I miss the story. I miss the passion.

Of course, you'll probably put a hand up and say: "woah there, Nai, you're doing a complete circle now. Remember that post about how it was all over, yada yada?"

I know. That's part of the reason of my confusion. I don't know where the truth ends and the laziness starts. I don't know where I belong, what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't know if I just haven't put enough into Etched in Black yet, or if it is simply the wrong story. But is Forest of Lies the right one? Or is it just the easier one? The one I understand?

As should be obvious by now, I can't tell. At all. I've been doing both, I've been swinging to one or the other only, I've been back to both, I've been questioning my reasoning and trying to evaluate whether it's just Eddie being lazy. I need help. I can't tell.

Please pray that God just makes it clear. I want to write what I need to: I just don't know what I need to. Do I go on the journey of worth and justice, or do I return to truth and love?



Keifer Lucchi said...

I'll be praying for you... I can see how that'd be hard. It's awesome to see you seeking God even in what direction He wants you to go in your writing.

Keep it up!

storygirl308 said...

*echos Keifer*

Hang in there Nai! *hugs* I'll be praying for you too!

Katie Oostman said...

I have been praying for you and will continue to. One thing that really helps me is (well actually two) finding a verse that exactly identifies the truth I am exploring in the story. Like for Imagine it's 2 Timothy 1:9. I also get my philosophical hat on and evaluate the story. For yours, it sound like FoL was about truth and love and EiB is about worth and justice. Well, if you dig down, isn't worth a search for love and isn't justice a fight for truth? Maybe they aren't so different. But you are right, it is harder! Being loved and finding truth is a lot easier that feeling worth love or fighting for a truth. It's a step further.

Maybe God does have a different story in mind for you. No matter what you decide, I pray that He brings you passion and purpose with your decision.


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