Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Worth the Wait

Secret and mysterious Quintessence image
I have acknowledged for quite some time that my writing process is slower than many of my peers. I have even taken a kind of grandiose, lonely pride in the fact that “I must be a Tolkien.”

But the hard truth of “being a Tolkien” as I’ve called it, is that it takes a very long time to produce work, and during that very long time, you’re rather annoyed with yourself for the fact that you are producing nothing--or producing nothing that lasts.

For example, my “hungry gap,” that started with the end of Forest of Lies edits in August 2009, and really only ended about June 24th of this year. That was the day I woke up with the lingering tatters of an odd dream about a grandfather who died, and yet wasn’t dead.

I was more or less writing between the end of Forest of Lies Draft IIIB and this dream, but there were often long gaps and it mostly consisted of tiring re-tries in different POVs of The Bow/Etched in Black/Worthless (respectively, November 2009, all of 2010, and the winter/spring of 2010-11) and fruitless efforts at editing Forest of Lies. I had no consuming desire to write and no story constantly tugging at my mind save for brief intervals when I was overwhelmed with a longing to be writing Forest of Lies again.

I had recently given up on Worthless because of story goal troubles, and found myself adrift with absolutely no story for the upcoming OYAN Workshops. I began to look at bringing Forest of Lies chapters yet again, feeling rather lame. Then, with rapid-fire precision, Quintessence was born.

I finished up chapter 6 Tuesday morning, and got that gut-wrench, heart-pounding emotional reaction to the chapter that I hadn’t felt in ages. I didn’t cry, but I felt very much like a coiled spring ready to explode. It was absolutely exhilarating.

That’s when I decided it was true.

I had been considering writing this post for several days, possibly a couple of weeks, but it was that reaction to Hywel’s predicament and fear that really sealed that the title to the post, was, in fact, truth.

It’s been worth the wait.

Let’s see if I can remember that through the next dry season.

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...