Friday, October 28, 2011


I am a fiercely patriotic American. I'm reading 1776 by David McCullough, and I'm just cheering the rag-tag army on against those "lobsterbacks." I love how our system of government was set up to work (not that it's working completely like that nowadays), I love the principles and the virtues and my flag.


For I don't know how long, I had deep pangs of longing to visit the country of those same "lobsterbacks." In May and June of this year, my friend gave me an incredible gift and made it possible for me to visit England.

Airplane monitor!
I admit I was a bit apprehensive at first. What if I didn't like it as much as I thought I would? What if somehow I would have over-imagined going, and it would never live up to my expectations?

Completely groundless worries from day 1.

Gorgeous Scarborough, with a Great Hall outline to boot.

Nottingham Castle
Adorable Stratford-Upon-Avon
Tower of London (which is really a ginormous castle).
I'll stop picture-spamming you now.

Since getting back, suddenly Study Abroad programs in colleges has slipped from the forefront of my mind to something of an afterthought, and though I talk pretty seriously about what I'll do when I go back (visit Lincoln Castle, longer in Nottingham, Oxford...), I hadn't really felt the pang at all.

Until today.

It's not gone.

Not abated.

I don't understand. Why do I love this country so much? Sure, loads of great authors are from there, the history is amazing (I teared up in the first 800yo church I went into), they have Doctor Who (ha), awesome accents, Robin Hood, etc., but this longing?

I don't get it. I can't explain it. I like to be able to explain why I love and what I love. And I can explain some of the why.

But not why it's so intense.

Why it hurts.

I imagine it's God-given at this point, but I don't know why, or what I'm supposed to do with it. I'm sure it's not just heading back to tour every year or so (I wish). It's all mixed up with what I want to do with my life, after four years of college learning. What job I want. Where I'm going.

I don't know. I simply don't know. But I hope it involves minding the gap and ancient rocks (aka castles. It's an inside joke, sorry).

1 comment:

Godsgirl said...

I can relate


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