Friday, October 7, 2011

How to Make My Day at a Ren Fest

I'm not really a renaissance person. Medieval all the way. For one thing, the clothes are better.

But the closest I can get to a Medieval Fest (honestly, there should be such things!) is the Ren one, which has a tendency to be a mixture of Medieval, Renaissance, and Fantasy anyway, and not particularly interested in historical accuracy.

When looking up directions to the festival for my parents, I noticed that the site had a hat-with-feather-wearing and bow-wielding picture and I of course immediately thought ROBIN HOOD! followed by "but I would think that, and besides, he's three centuries out of his time. *sad Nai face*"

Imagine my delight when, although three centuries out of time, Robin Hood IS at the Ren Fest, AND...well. You'll see.

First, our narrator, the Sheriff of Notting--Canterbury.
And our hero, Robin Hood, in his stereotypical and unpractical hosen, which doesn't look any better for not calling it tights. (Note: my Robin is *way* too practical to wear such an ensemble, and wants you all to know this.) 
And there's a small problem of a bridge and two men. But it is unmannly to use a bow against a man armed only with a quarterstaff.
Remedied by a battle of staffs.
Robin would seem to be winning...
...but alas.
Now it is time for a sword fight! Wet Robin against Dry Little John. 
Short work made of that.
Our Noble outlaws (who were previously chucking each other into a pond) get a little tired of their narrator.
But then he slips on the wet wood and hurts his ankle!
...or not.
I don't think they're a fan of this.
Though he is.
Eventually, your luck runs out.
Heavens, this is getting long. You don't mind, do you? I didn't think so. (Heh, the benefit of cyberspace.) Later, we witness the capture of Little John!

And subsequently stalk the captors--the Duchess and Sheriff of Canterbury.
Then we ran into the Doctor. Brilliant!
Ahem.  But, anyway, Little John is to be executed!
And Marian too, if Robin Hood will not show his face! (Don't you think the Sheriff has a perfect sneer here? I think he has a perfect sneer.)
This would, perhaps, work beautifully. If your executioner isn't Robin Hood himself, that is.
But if he is, you're a bit out of luck.
Even more so if the King and Queen show up in the midst of your long speech about how you will continue to tax the poor until you are richer than he is, and...yes.
Justice is served, and off they go.
Ah, what a pleasant, predictable ending.
And beautiful evening light, to boot.

Plot: * * *
Characters: * * *
Golden Arrow: * * * *
"Fluently!": * * * *
Others: *
Overall: * * * *

Day: officially made.



Chaos-Jamie said...

First: I was really surprised your fam liked the Ren fest due in part to the Everything Costs a Ton concept AND the There's No Way This is Remotely Historically Accurate Enough for Nairam.

All that aside: those hosen *shudder* and "ew."

Charissa said...

You ran into the Doctor... XD

Anonymous said...

*laughs* Looks like you had fun. :) I got to see one of those choreographed stories too, except it was a joust.

The Ren Fest is an interesting experience, is it not?


Josiphine said...

I met Robin today too, :) (After dressing my little brother as him.)

We went to History Fest, :)

Nairam said...

@Jamie: First part somewhat remedied by free tickets and only buying roasted almonds. Second part's the closest I can get, plus there's a lot of nerdy dorks there (see: The Doctor) which is fun, considering I am one.

@Charissa: Isn't he *awesome*? :P

@Pippin: I saw the joust once too. I liked Robin Hood better, but that's probably me being me. ^.^

@Josiphine: History fest? Do tell.

Sandy said...

I love this a lot.

Annie said...

1. I am so jealous of you. I really, REALLY want to go to a RenFest now.

2. Wet Robin makes me giggle for some reason.

3. The Sheriff does have a perfect sneer.

4. The fact that you ran into the Doctor makes my day. XD It's the perfect cosplay for any event.

5. An alarming number of my comments are numbered lists. O_O

Godsgirl said...

My dad said that they all look like Friar Tucks and that, "[The Robin] is a big guy with long hair! That is NOT Robin Hood!" :D

I can't believe you met a guy dressed as the Doctor. That is just too much XD

This was an awesome post, Nai! Thanks for sharing the Ren Fest with us! *wants to go to one really bad*

The Director said...

Robin's multicolored tights (yes, they are TIGHTS) are killing me XD

However, I have firmly decided that you are taking me with you next time. Please? That looked so darn epic! Thank you for sharing.


Nairam said...

@Sandy: ^.^

@Annie: When we went last year with some friends of ours (also Whovians) we talked about how dressing up as The Doctor would be so awesome, so it was pretty fun to find someone else who had that sort of idea. I also had someone come up and say: "your shirt deserves a high-five" (it was my Doctor Who one). I kind of figured the chance for Whovians would be higher at a geeky thing like a RenFest...

@Godsgirl: Who is Robin Hood to your dad?

@The Director: As you say. I'd love to, except I won't be here for this one next year. I hear that North Carolina has one too, though, so it can't be *all* bad there! ;)

Mercia Dragonslayer said...

Nai, I came up with the perfect reason for both Robin Hood's AND the Doctor's presence at the Ren Fair: the Doctor used his TARDIS to bring Robin Hood forward a couple hundred years. >:D

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