(Not to say it *couldn't* happen...anything can happen...but I don't place much stock in it.)
All the same, I found myself a bit nervous as the minutes and then the seconds counted down. End of the world or no, I haven't felt that way about a new year before. 2011 went by in a whirlwind, with plenty of good and bad rolled in it.
2012, I think, will just entail a lot of change. Or could entail a lot of change. It could be the year I got to live in New York City. Or not. It could be the year I finally work on a novel that could win the OYAN contest. Or not. I'm working on my seventh college application and I believe my eighth personal essay. All this work, and I have no idea what I'm going to be doing next fall. Not only do I need acceptance: I need a significant amount of financial aid.
I just feel unsettled today. I don't know what I'm doing for school, I'm trying to balance the social with the education with the writing, wondering about how to strengthen relationships and when one lets go, and what to do with novels, old and new. But especially old.
I don't really know what to do beyond keeping up the writing. I don't know where I'm going except into higher education because my parents probably won't want it otherwise. I don't know if I'll earn a full scholarship or work minimum wage again and attend a community college.
I don't know where I'm going.
Neither do the Mayans.
I suppose it's a good thing, then, that I don't have to. I have a God, a Daddy, who does.
P.S. Thanks to Calleigh, I'm striking out on a 366 picture challenge with my new digital camera. If you like, you can follow my lens adventures here: Nairam's Olympus.