Saturday, April 21, 2012

Through Fire Comes Gold

Today has been rough.

Scratch that, this week has been rough.

After some rough months.

I mean this all in the completely first-world sense, mind. Emotionally rough would be a better description, considering I'm not scrambling for food to eat or clothes to wear or shelter to live under.

There's just College and Jobs and Money and Scholarships and Somehow Finish High School and Things I Want and Things I Need and what if the two can't both happen?

In times like this, when I'm crying over songs that remind me of the college I love and can't afford or over pictures of people I love in a place far away and things I'm missing...

I just want to go to that Technicolor world...

Robin Hood & Marian Fitzwalter in the 1938 Robin Hood
That world of wit and danger, romance and justice, beautiful dresses, leather jerkins, jaunty hats, and yes, even maybe those ridiculous lovable Sherwood.

It's not just the trappings of it, what makes it a fun flight of fancy, but it's the virtues at the core, where you are just courageous and good-hearted and know how to laugh at yourself. It is carefree, but it's not fluffy. It's a good, solid, strong world of bright color: the Robin Hood legend.

But then I think.

I looked at and fell in love with this wonderful world, but then I wrote about this boy:
He lost everything when he was 8 years old. A man claimed him, body and soul, and tortured him for eight years. He escaped a broken young man who in the end wanted death. An elderly monk snatched him from the jaws of self-hatred and despair and taught him about the One who died for him. Because He loved this boy. This boy, sixteen years old, began to learn to live again. A year later, he met a girl. He met a girl who was as lost and starved for love as he had been, but didn't realize it. Feeling the call of his God, he made up his mind to try to help her, heal her, love her. In the end, he loved her more than he had ever intended.

And she rejected him. Betrayed him.

He let her. He went back to the man who broke him. He lost someone he loved. He thought he would die. He thought he had failed her.

But in the end, he showed her what what Love was--who Love was. She saw the Truth and she finally accepted it.

Their story didn't end there, of course--his story didn't end. More trials came, but through more trials, more beauty.

There's nothing wrong with the legend of Robin Hood how it is--it is inspiring, and I still love it dearly. But writing and discovering my Robin's life (for he is the boy) I've discovered more beauty then I ever encountered in the stories I love.

I think of this, and then I think of that good, brightly-colored world of the original legend and I remember how his--Robin Hood, man of legend--story ends. He's murdered. If he had done less, said less, been less, his story wouldn't have ended like that. But the way it ended was worth it because of the things he did.

Just as my Robin's life was worth it because it made him who he is.

Just as my relatively small troubles are worth it because they're preparing me for who I am to become--and what I am to write.

Because if I lived in the world of The Adventures of Robin Hood, I don't think I would have ever told my Robin's story.

And I wouldn't give up that experience for the world.



{Tomorrow Song} said...

I love how you share your heart so openly Nai. And the really neat thing is that Robin's story has and is continuing to affect others. I love how God writes our stories and even though we can't see the whole picture, He's working. For me, that's something I love about writing- understanding how God writes stories and we, as authors, get in some small way to understand that. Thanks for sharing your gift with the world Nai.

~abby elizabeth

Godsgirl said...

I can relate to the emotionally rough. Thank you for this post Nai. It was encouraging <3

I love Robin Hood.

Nairam said...

@abby: I've been meaning to write a post on that subject, actually. It's just hard to formulate it. It's true, though. Writing has show me so many things about myself and God--I really can't imagine my life without it. It is truly beautiful.

@Godsgirl: I'm glad it was. :) And I do too. Both of them. ;)

Sr. Citizen said...

For a little guidance, go to and view todays tv show about turning loose of the past and getting on with today - and all the rest of todays.

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